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How to Get Spanked in 10 Steps

The Definitive Relationship Guide

1Why Get Spanked?

  • Stop feeling guilt
  • A moment of intense pain provides powerful relief
  • Strengthen your bond
  • You have a reason

A hard spanking puts you in your place. Somewhere you want to be, but it takes someone else to put you there. Intense shame and stinging pain correct any errant mistake, real or imagined.

A tidal wave of pleasure accompanies a sound spanking, but doesn't stop it hurting. Endure what you deserve. A moment of intense pain provides powerful relief, sweeping away a guilt-filled mind.

Accepting someone's control and taking the consequences you deserve reflects well on you. It must be painful. Your choice to accept your spanking shows enormous self- respect and strengthens your relationship. It's impossible to give your sore bottom a rub a few hours after a spanking and not feel a surge of pride.

Study your past week. You haven't been perfect. An event will pop out at you. Whatever it is, admit to yourself you deserve a spanking, a hard one, and read on.

A young woman's bottom in orange panties bending for a spanking

2Relationship First

  • More to life
  • Secretive pleasure
  • Plethora of emotions
  • Blanket of calm

However often your brain turns to spanking, most of life doesn't revolve around a fresh stinging bottom and passionate soul. This secretive pleasure enhances any relationship. A loving partner disciplines you with the plethora of emotions which make strict punishment so desirable.

A casual connection takes as much effort as finding a great relationship. Go for the full experience. The storm of emotions in getting spanked by a partner is the real prize. The blanket of calm soothing your well spanked mind delivers buckets of awesome emotion.

Your bottom is physical proof your partner has punished you. It reminds you of your intense bond. The pleasure lasts for days, along with some discomfort and tons of pride.

A couple sharing a distant embrace, agreeing to a discipline relationship

3Add Spanking and Stir

  • When to bring up spanking
  • Get to know each other
  • Choose your moment
  • Try one of these opening lines

I'm often asked when to discuss spanking with your new partner. Should you mention the subject on your first date? Good news. It isn't the enormous deal you imagine.

Your partner feeds off your pleasure. Even if they're new to spanking, delivering a stern tone and firm hand is straightforward. Pick a reason for your spanking, one which vexes them, and they'll deliver an Oscar- winning performance.

You don't have to find someone "into" spanking. Just push their natural buttons. The justice system proves we all believe in right, wrong, and punishment. You're applying the rationale close to home. Your standard of behavior has slipped and you deserve discipline.

Get to know each other. You want all of your relationship, not just a spanking. This bond powers your sexy discipline.

Choose your moment. Cuddled up in private at home is best. You're asking for something extra in your existing relationship. Your partner already adores your weirdness. A little extra spice isn't a big deal.

Try this...

"I love being your girl, but I can be a handful. Sometimes I wouldn't mind if you exert your manly dominance over me, discipline me a bit, make me bend over and obey you. Spankings sting. They ought to. Carrying the stinging reminder you aren't afraid to be tough on me turns me on. I'd love it. After I'm punished, our relationship returns to normal, until we both desire added intensity again. What do you think?"

Maybe you wish they'd spank you every day, but play it cool. After an intense bout of punishment driven pleasure, renegotiation won't be a challenge.

If you're offering a spanking...

"Sometimes I'd like to show my stern side and discipline you. Experiencing your obedience when it's tough for you turns me on. I don't want you to become submissive. I'd hate that. Obeying me and accepting a spanking is a show of strength and commitment, not to mention the passionate sex it provokes. What do you think?"

You're hoping for "I wouldn't mind" or "I'll try it". "A good spanking doesn't hurt" deserves a prize for incredible humor. Questions about pain come next.

To eviscerate guilt, your spanking must leave you sore for a few hours. It has to mean something. Your sensational soreness is sexy. Set aside hours for repeated sex.

Facing your spanking, it's reasonable to fear your partner using too much force, but lovers tend to hold back because as humans we've learned to fear pain. Fear not.Your bottom can take a good spanking, and you deserve it.

A woman in skimpy shorts climbing on a man wearing only jeans

4The Hand Paradox

  • A hand is unpredictable
  • Choose a predictable implement
  • Let your implement create a routine
  • Shiver and tremble at its thought

Uncertainty reigns with a hand spanking. Your partner may spank too hard or leave you unfulfilled. Either is a disaster. With a hand, it's your partner spanking you. With an implement, the implement, not your partner, defines your pain. This mind trick removes the personal element.

Although popular for convenience, the hand is the worst choice for a spanking.

Predictable pain lets you prepare for the painful punishment you face. An implement lands the same way each time, delivering predictable and deserved discomfort, replacing the unknown factor with certainty.

An implement set aside for discipline provides a useful framework for a punishment routine. Being sent to fetch it serves as a formal commencement of proceedings.

Mutual agreement can involve you as much or as little as you like, but once your partner has sent you to fetch your punishment implement, butterflies will consume your stomach.

I recommend obedience, but if you must argue, expect consequences.

Pick an implement.


A hairbrush for spankingA convenient hairbrush will deliver a stinging bottom you won't forget in a hurry. Don't underestimate the impact of solid wood on the seat of your PJs at bedtime. Guilt-free, a good night's sleep is certain.

Leather Spanking Paddle

A leather spanking paddleA good leather paddle will impart effective, loving discipline, blowing away a pout or full-blown sulk. The intense sting from applied leather leaves a fiery reminder for several hours. Bent over your bed or lying on it, each swat will prove meaningful enough for your partner to know it's affecting you.


A rattan cane for punishmentA fearsome reputation dissuades many from this predictable implement. The sharp swish of a cane will send shivers of anticipation through a disobedient girl. Its reputation borne out of hearsay in schools, a caning, has immense value for your education. It leaves delicious lines on your bottom and is my personal recommendation.

Riding Crop

A riding crop for spankingThe light tap of leather on your skin plants a pleasant sting before harder flicks inflict the vibrant pain you deserve. When the riding crop whips down hard across your cheeks, your apology will be heartfelt. Knowing you're about to get whipped brings the most vivacious filly into line, but doesn't excuse your behavior.

Wooden Punishment Paddle

A wooden punishment paddle with eight holes to make it hurt moreA sound paddling turns a bad girl into a good girl with three or four swats. Favored in the US, it provides instant sting, but delivers a deep ache, continuing to punish for days. Although you may feel like whispering to the checkout girl in the grocery store, "I got paddled", your secret sting and ache will keep you well behaved.

One of these implements made you shiver and tremble. Choose that one. You deserve it.

For where to buy spanking implements, check out these spanking implements

A young woman lying on her front in a tight, sexy dress thinking about how she's getting spanked

5Bend Over

  • Bending over your partner's knee is difficult
  • Bend over the edge of your bed
  • Bend over a table or desk
  • Bend over the back of a dining chair

Punishment requires you to adopt a submissive position. This crucial step conveys to your partner you accept what's coming. Bending over your partner's knee carries overtones of childish discipline. You're an adult, you can face your punishment as you should. Bending over your lover's knee is tricky and challenges your emotional adult relationship.

Bending over the edge of your bed, a table or a chair back provides separation and privacy to process your storm of emotions.

You're getting punished by your partner. It hurts and you must hold your position, accepting their absolute authority while your guilt benefits from your wise, but painful, choice.

For a comfortable position, lie on your bed with a pillow under your hips to raise your bottom. Bury your face in a pillow for a good cry as your disobedient bottom burns.

The space to process your emotions is crucial. To accept your punishment with grace, your mind needs room to process and accept your pain. Forgiving yourself and dismissing your guilt is a private moment, even from your partner. Guilt free, the coming together is even sweeter.

A young woman's bottom in tight jeans about to bend over


  • Did you answer someone sharply?
  • Have you failed to do something?
  • Did you meet your goals?
  • The reason drives your punishment with ease

If you feel you deserve punishment, you can say why. You must. Think back over your week. You weren't perfect. Did you answer back with attitude? Did you neglect to do something you'd committed to? Maybe your offense wasn't huge, but it has built up in your mind. Did you let yourself down? Did you plan to go to bed early or eat less sweet things? Failure to meet your own goals deserves a sharp sting on your bottom.

The reason drives your punishment. With genuine guilt, obeying your partner is easy. Remember, your partner needs a logical reason to justify punishing you. The reason provides a perfect framework for your discussion. There must be a discussion. It amplifies your guilt, putting you in the right frame of mind to take your pain and accept your shame with respect and dignity.

A young woman bent over her bed in string panties


  • Get a strict scolding
  • You know you deserve it
  • Stern words stir your soul
  • Hard questions demand painful answers

You deserve a strict scolding for your behavior. You've failed yourself or someone else. A strict telling off establishes the correct frame of mind. Every stern word from your partner stirs your soul, driving excitement and instilling fear.

This one-sided discussion should continue during your punishment. Your partner should deliver questions and demand answers.

"When did you know you'd be late?"

"Why didn't you call your sister back?"

"How much did that dress cost?"

"How much time have you wasted?"

"Did you consider your co-worker's feelings?

My favorite is "Would you have confessed if I hadn't discovered your offense?". It forces you to admit you'd have tried to get away with it, demanding further inescapable penalties on your deserving bottom.

A young woman being scolded before getting spanked


  • You're not in the driving seat
  • Enjoy strict obedience
  • Frissons of fear ripple down your spine
  • Painful marks on your disobedient bottom

This might seem obvious, but the best moment to offer your partner advice isn't now. You've chosen to remove yourself from the driving seat of your life and pass control to someone you like, love, and trust.

There's no room for compromise.

If their instructions aren't to your taste, comply regardless. You can discuss anything afterwards, but your strict obedience is crucial to your enjoyment. Your partner must remain comfortable in your acceptance as they deal with you.

The frissons of fear rippling down your spine and the certainty you deserve painful marks applied to your disobedient bottom will ensure you obey. Every ounce of your obedience is driving admiration and excitement in your partner.

Lower your gaze. Don't answer back. Answer their questions with respect. Obey.

You know you want to.

A young woman undoing her pink shorts


  • Are you learning your lesson?
  • It's okay to influence your punishment
  • 'Yes, I'm sorry' feels so good
  • 'I'm not sorry enough' feels even better

A significant question for your partner is "Are you learning your lesson?". It's an opportunity to show if you feel punished enough.

Your partner should deliver another stroke anyway to remind you they are in control. "Yes. I'm sorry" suggests you're feeling punished. A bold choice might be "I'm sorry, but not sorry enough".

You may want a spanking for pure pleasure, but as we've established, there's always a reason, and you deserve it. For the reward to count, the struggle must be real. Your partner can embellish your scolding and continue your telling off while punishing you. As each stroke or swat reaches its peak, the stern reminder is nirvana for your mind and pure therapy for your pool of evaporating guilt.

Accept your suffering with grace. Stay in position. Your honest submission is pumping respect into your partner. You'll be proud of yourself afterwards.

A young woman getting paddled on her bare bottom bent over her bed


  • Pain ends, but your sting continues
  • Stay still until you have permission to rise
  • Thank your partner, you deserved it
  • Bury yourself in their enormous hug

Your pain ends. Your sting continues. Bearing it is your duty. Stay still and let your suffering engulf you. As your bottom burns in position, your partner's desire is raging. Like getting up before an airplane has reached the gate, you must stay in your position until given clear permission to rise. You're still under punishment.

"Stand up", "It's over" or "You may stand". These explicit commands declare an end to your punishment. You deserve to fall into your partner's arms and feel their love, but first you have a solemn duty, a duty you must not shirk.

Thank you

Face your partner and thank them for punishing you. Don't hold back. "Thank you for punishing me, I deserved that." is a good solid response. To thank them while you are sore shows sincere gratitude. Now you deserve every squeeze of that enormous hug.

Hot Sex

Your self-respect is sky high. The justness of your stinging bottom meets the respect of your partner's excited mind. Watching your strict obedience has driven your partner wild, and they didn't have the pain to concentrate on. Rubbing your sore bottom against the bed or the wall will inflame your sex even more. Shatter the Richter scale with your personal earthquake.

Sweetness and Light

In your suit, jeans, dress or leggings, your punished bottom will shine through. Light and unburdened, you're in danger of being phenomenal. Smile and enjoy yourself as people comment on your good humor and stunning, vivacious outlook on life. You've earned it.

Start Now

If you do nothing else, leave this guide lying around your bedroom and see what your partner does. Not tidying up after myself earns me six strokes of the cane, but I've been punished before. Start with three strokes for your first offense. It will put a good sting in your tail.

Grab my books while you wait for your partner to notice your sloppy attitude to tidiness and enjoy the trials and tribulations of girls who, challenged by their relationships, careers, or both, turn to regular discipline. Enjoy,

A young woman feeling her burning bottom in a tight dress after getting spanked